divorce

- since the no fault divorce act happened in the 70’s, marriage is not considered a covenant that a family is built upon, it becomes a contract that once the relationship becomes hard and irritating couples escape easily without  ever putting in effort to stick around and make the relationship work. This affects not only the couple but also both families, their children and friends.  There is a need today for educating one another and building meaningful relationships that even in the most difficult times we don’t regret our decision to have a family and life with the person you marry. 

parenting by encouragement

- when people think of parenting, many consider parenthood as a simply parents teaching their children to listen and respond to the desires and needs of the parent. We need to remember that in teaching others the most effective way in encouragement, to show them the aspects about them that are good.  Teaching others is not only for parenting but also in our treatment and appreciation of others and their good qualities.

my father

The thing that I love most about my father is that he always knew when to share with others that he loved them. As we go from day to day we don’t need people to constantly ask us what is wrong or ask us if there is anything  we need, not that there is a lack of  willingness to help but that as we go along we often say that we don’t need the help and that we are doing just fine. But it is the quiet emotional moments where others know that we need support and know that we don’t need it physically so much as having and knowing we have their support emotionally. It is those moments of frustration; we want someone to just know that we want them to appreciate us without our asking. Somehow he knew when I needed a hug and said “hey”, me: “yeah”, “I love you”, it was always that simple exchange that really said everything that needs to be said: appreciation, thanks, love, and support.

Stress

There are times where we test one another’s patience and others where there are too many things that we need to balance that it seems overwhelming and daunting. Stress is a part of everyone’s life; the level and length vary in different circumstances though all share the equal irritation and frustration that comes with unexpected events. Prepare beforehand a plan, though minor it may be, in preparation for some stressful situations that arise, so as not to become overwhelmed when the harder trials come or the life altering decisions knock us down, and be patient since acting in haste over certain decisions will surely bring about more regret than joy. 

Transitionaiing

Many like I said before about getting married in haste, also ties in with transitioning into marriage. They say the best gifts are the ones that are slowly unwrapped and carefully treated. Likewise in transitioning, it will be a shock, since it is a complete life style change. So take it easy, unwrap your new life together carefully and see how amazing your relationship and family life will become, though it won’t be easy yet it will be rewarding. 

Getting Married

When preparing for getting Married we need to take the time to learn of the person that you desire to marry, there are many times where couples who think that they are in love jump to get married to realize or soon after loose the interest. It is easy to forget to say I love you or to have a romantic gesture if you think that it is required and not needed to be said.

say I love you

It’s tricky in intimacy with our spouse we sometimes determine that what was once said does not need be repeated, saying I love you out loud reaffirms the feelings that we have inside. I think the Lord knew and understands the human need for verbal confirmation; it simply is not enough to gesture or say only once that we are thankful or love someone but that the act is repeated for us to be reminded of those earlier times and hint towards future progression. Like in the scriptures or in teaching young children we often receive the same message, teaching repeatedly, not that we don’t know but for our betterment, and remembrance. Likewise show those around you, tell your siblings even, that you love them and often.It’s tricky in intimacy with our spouse we sometimes determine that what was once said does not need be repeated, saying I love you out loud reaffirms the feelings that we have inside. I think the Lord knew and understands the human need for verbal confirmation; it simply is not enough to gesture or say only once that we are thankful or love someone but that the act is repeated for us to be reminded of those earlier times and hint towards future progression. Like in the scriptures or in teaching young children we often receive the same message, teaching repeatedly, not that we don’t know but for our betterment, and remembrance. Likewise show those around you, tell your siblings even, that you love them and often.

  

We discussed roles. I felt that within my family I have grown to acknowledge and love the power and blessing of having a worthy priesthood holding father, who through his example, I realize there is nothing I want more than to have a companion who would respect me and raise my family in likewise righteous authority as my father has shown to my mother and us kids. And as a mother and companion, I too can likewise be as awesome as my mom. I am not saying my family follows perfectly with the ideal look of a family, we still argue, get frustrated and pick on one another but fundamentally we know there is love in our home and have grown with the comfort of having the spirit dwell there. Now that all of us seven siblings are grown, I being the youngest, desire to keep that same spirit with us wherever we go and in the homes we build.

think about it

Often choices made by our parents and other family can leave a scars in our relationships with them. This never means you can give up on them or that they no longer deserve your love. Sometimes the hardest decisions a parent makes, like giving up a child so their future is secure or that of a parent leaving in order to mold a new and hopefully better home, these are the result of their love and even harder is it when instead of appreciating the gesture or loving their eagerness to help, we often scorn or ridicule them.  Our understanding of another’s motives and intentions are as assuming a fish after being caught and released wouldn’t fall for the trap a second time. Consider your family’s interaction, try to work on making the bonds stronger and you’ll come to realize that they do love you, you can pick your friends but they come and go, your family is a unit they ,if you’re willing, will be there for you through the eternities.

Learn from the past

Family trends whether we desire them to or not happen generationally. Though values and personal decisions may change, we have a trend that comes naturally that seemingly mirrors those who have gone before. I refer to what we learn from our families or trends that come naturally and often unnoticed to us. These can explain certain behavior and various oddities that each of us bare, again take the time to learn from your family. Build a chart your personally genogram that illustrates family trends that explain where you picked up your values, where you become comfortable under certain stresses that remind you of home. Be aware of the mistakes unseen that you would like to change for your children.

MAKE TIME!

Make time for your family, you will experience great joy as you teach them and also joy in their successes later in life. There is nothing greater than those ties to family and far too often today’s society forgets to make room for what is truly important. Remember you only have right now to make them, putting off till tomorrow prevents the growth of your family and yesterday was too late. I personally hope that I never lose willingness and time with my family.

share experiences, there is no better educator than our own experiences.